Archive for Individual Psychotherapy

Forget What You Know? Don’t Do It!

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“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”  – Oliver Wendell Holmes

My years of research and study have led me in many different directions to help others. When I sit with someone in my office, I often get “intuitive flashes” of what is going on with them that has nothing to do with what they are saying or why they even came in to see me.

I might get an intuitive flash that they have a blood sugar imbalance issue or that they are possibly diabetic. I might also pick up on virus being present in their body and find out that they have been dealing with herpes for years.

They might come in for a health issue and I get an intuitive flash that their spouse has recently asked for a divorce. They may come in to sort out a marital issue and I pick up on a thyroid imbalance or even Hashimoto’s which as not yet been diagnosed.

What is amazing to me is that if I get out of my own way and allow myself to be a channel for healing on any level, information comes to me that is beneficial to that person in front of me.

Before I start work in my office, I also ask for guidance to give me any information that might be helpful for who I will be meeting with that day. I also ask to be a channel of service and for protection for all involved.

This might seem “airy fairy” or too “woo woo” for some. Often I don’t even mention that I have done this, but I do use the information that has been transmitted to me, to help those who seek out my services.

I cannot forget what I know. And you cannot either. 

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Perhaps there are things that have been nagging at you, thoughts you have tried to avoid thinking about, things you’ve noticed in your relationships or your health that you have chosen to try to push out of your mind.

Your higher self, guidance, angels, universal intelligence, the source, the Almighty (or whatever name or words you use) is trying to communicate with you. Keep open to that communication, trust it and follow it. If what you hear is for the good of those around you as well as yourself, it is probably coming from a true source.

Ignoring the wisdom that is coming to you can even create depression, anxiety or various health issues. Don’t forget what you know…your higher self (again whatever words that you use to refer to this) not only knows what is best for you, it wants you to incorporate it, listen to it and when you do…you will give you stronger and more positive guidance!

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Dr. Elena Michaels is a naturopathic doctor, holistic psychotherapist, family therapist and clinical hypnotherapist who has been helping people create happiness, enhanced health and well being and more joy for over 30 years. Her passion is helping others regain their power physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, to become a master of their lives.  

 

 

 

3 Ways To Enhance Your Relationships

Someone asked me recently what’s the best way to enhance relationships?

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We all have issues and sometimes friction in our relationships, whether they be with our significant other, children, extended family, coworkers or friends.

First and foremost, we cannot change another person. That’s their job. What we can do and have complete control over, is changing our own perceptions. We can change how we view them and what they are doing, and what is going on in the relationship between us. We can choose the more empowering stance of responding, instead of automatically reacting.

The desire to blame, be critical and judgmental and “be right” is very strong. It takes conscious effort to let go, accept, take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions and to communicate that.

So are you tired of being frustrated and want to know how to communicate what is going on and how you are feeling without blaming, judging or criticizing?

Tired, hand on head, brunette

Here are 3 ways to enhance your relationships and how to do it:

1. Easy…speak in the first person. Don’t use the word “you”. Start your sentences with “I feel”, “I wonder”, “I wonder if we”, “I am” and so on. Watch what happens…when you leave out the word “you” from what you are saying, it allows the other person to hear you…really hear you. It also allows them to possibly step up and take responsibility for their part. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t, but you have taken care of yourself emotionally and vocalized in the first person, what is going on with you.

Issue: Your partner/child/family member/coworker interrupts you when you talk, or corrects what you are saying before you’ve even finishing your sentence.

Solution: Stop yourself from saying something snotty and instead you might calmly say something like, “I appreciate being able to finish my thoughts and what I am saying without interruption”. And then stop and be quiet. They might realize what they are doing and then apologize (or not). What matters is that you said what was going on with you and by doing this you have avoided a possible argument.

line drawing man saying shut the hell up

If you say (in an agitated voice), “You always interrupt me, you don’t let me finish what I am saying and you correct me. I hate that!” All you will get in response is them defending themselves, they won’t hear you and more distance and friction will ensue.

Try speaking in the first person…it takes effort and being conscientious until you get the hang of it, but it is very effective.

2. Stop focusing on what is NOT working. Only acknowledge what IS working.

Issue: Your teenagers leave clothes all over the house and expect you to pick them up. You are tired of yelling at them about it, focusing on what they aren’t doing, you feel taken advantage of, irritated and that there is disrespect for you, the clothes and money you spent on them. But because you like a clean house you pick the clothes up (and even wash them), feeling resentful the entire time.

Solution: In a calm moment, give everyone the heads up on what will be going on. Say something like, “I really appreciate having a clean and orderly home. So if there are clothes lying around I will pick them up and dump them on the floor of the room of the person the clothes belong to. I will be doing a washer and dryer lesson Saturday at 1 PM (or whenever), so that person can do their own laundry.” Be light, smile, and come from a place of helpfulness. We have to help our kids learn how to take care of themselves and be responsible. You might put a time limit on how long you will be picking up the clothes…say two weeks, and then telling them up front that after that, you will pick up the clothes, donate them and not pay for any replacements.

And when you see one of your kids picking up their clothes or see the house being more orderly, acknowledge it, give them a hug and tell them you love them. Focus on what you want, NOT what you don’t want.

Radiant Heart photo

3. Let go. Stop trying to control or change.

Issue: Your friend wants to be a blond, wear hair extensions and go out drinking. The color of her hair is brassy, is the same color she dyed it in college and you think it ages her. You have mentioned this several times but she doesn’t hear you and argues with you that she “likes being a blond and just wants to look as young as she can and have fun (drinking) before she’s an old woman”.

Solution: Let it go. If she wants to be a brassy blond and drink, that is her choice. You don’t have to drink with her, you can meet her for lunch or coffee. She’s allowed to adorn herself any way she chooses…it’s her body. (If you find her an embarrassment maybe it’s time to move on and find other friends you have more in common with.)

But if you really love her, she has lots of great qualities and you value having her in your life, acknowledge when she looks pretty and wears something in a color that is flattering. You might also casually point out someone else’s hair color and say something like, “That color of that woman’s hair is so flattering and youthful”, etc. In short, let it go. You don’t have any control over her choices but you can support the positive choices she makes.

This is the same approach for your husband wearing those horrendous faded and torn baggy shorts, your 21 year old daughter dying her hair magenta, your son growing his hair long and straggly or your younger sister piercing her nose.

Speak in the first person, focus on what IS working and let go! Take that desire to control someone else and their choices, and use that intensity and energy to work on yourself!

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Dr. Elena Michaels is a naturopathic doctor, holistic psychotherapist, family therapist and clinical hypnotherapist who has been helping people enhance their relationships and create happiness for over 30 years. Her passion is helping others regain their power physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, to become a master of their lives.  

 

4 Ways to Spring Into…Slowing Down?

Spring is here, the flowers are blooming, excitement is building and we have more daylight hours to do more things.

Often it’s difficult for people to slow down and even more so when we have more daylight hours and there seems to be so many things to do.

heart diagran, pastels:freeThe other day, a friend had a heart attack. This is a man who is fit, relatively healthy, an ideal weight…but a workaholic. He had never really been in the hospital, wouldn’t slow down, and felt that “no one else could do the things he had to do”. He wasn’t able to delegate or designate…it was as if the entire world depending upon him.

He felt this burden and we often discussed it. He felt depressed about the responsibility and pressure he felt, but he was “too busy” to even listen to a 3 minute audio relaxation I gave to him! He would get angry and almost belligerent when anyone he knew would express their concern and suggest that he was “working too hard”.

This heart attack stopped him in his tracks. It forced him to slow down. Our bodies speak to us and communicate all the time…in symptoms.

Here are 4 ways for a busy person to “slow down” instead of “springing ahead”:

1. Exercise. Okay, you’re busy and don’t have time to go the gym. You can walk your dog, park further away in the parking lot so you can walk more steps to your office, and take the stairs instead of the elevator.

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2. Take a break at sunset (or sunrise if you are up early enough) and just look at the sky. The colors only last a few minutes so you won’t have to worry about being “too busy” to see it. Connect with nature somehow, someway, every day. Walk outside first thing when you wake up and look at the sky, breathe deeply and be grateful for being alive. Notice the flowers blooming in your neighborhood.

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3. When you get in bed, turn off the TV (actually avoiding TV or computer screen light for an hour before bed is even better) and avoid checking voicemail and email on your phone while in bed. Wear an sleep mask (yes, men wear them too) to block out all light, and listen to a few minutes of a guided relaxation audio. Here are two very, very short choices for you.

4. Eat more frequently and eat protein at each meal. A bagel and coffee is not a breakfast to fuel your brain. Eating frequently will not cause you to gain weight IF you eat protein (preferable lean animal protein) throughout the day. You don’t have to eat giant meals…a few bites is fine. Your brain cannot function without fuel, and protein will keep you even and calm.

Enjoy these gorgeous days, heed your body’s signals and feel blessed to be alive.

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P.S. By the way, my friend dodged a bullet and although he had three stents put in, he is doing just fine. Now I hope he can finally make some changes in his lifestyle.

Yours in health, healing and happiness,

Dr. Elena 😉

Dr. Elena Michaels is a naturopathic doctor, holistic psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist who has been helping people access their inner innate healing power for over 30 years. Having personally overcome many health challenges including advanced stage cancer, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (autoimmune disease) and cardiac issues, her passion is helping others regain their health and vitality and take control of their life.  

Are You Interested or Committed to Your Healing?

Are you simply interested or are you committed to your healing and reaching your goals?  What’s the difference?

If you are “interested” you might simply be checking things out, seeing what your options might be and considering the idea of moving forward.

If you are “committed”, you are at that place of being sick and tired of feeling less than you know you could be.  You know this place, right?

Fatigue, lack of energy, loss of vitality, weight gain, insomnia and other symptoms are your body’s ways of communicating with you to let you know that you are out of balance.

Physiological imbalances from stress, illness, insomnia, chronic conditions (such as autoimmune or thyroid issues), hormone issues, depression and anxiety can keep you from being the best you can be.

When you are less than the best you can be, it affects everything…your relationships with your partner (or wishing you had a partner), your family and children, co-workers and friends.  Most of all, your perspective is clouded, your brain isn’t functioning well and the joy is in your life is elusive.

I get calls from people who are “interested”.  When the time comes to make a commitment to themselves, their health and well-being and making some changes, we realize that they are simply “interested”…they aren’t ready and are stuck in that place that is comfortable because it is familiar…and because they’ve been there for some time.  That’s cool…when the time is right, the time is right.

When I get calls from people who are “committed”, I know it right away. They are ready and willing to do whatever it takes to be the best they can be.  They have just been looking for the right person to help them through whatever it is that has been causing physical or emotional discomfort.

They have decided to put themselves first and realize that if they are not feeling and functioning well, everything around them seems to be “off”. These are the people who know there is more…they don’t want to be held back by health or emotional issues any longer…they are READY.

When people are committed, they have come to a point in their lives where they just “know” it’s time to make the changes to expand and grow to the next level.  They are thrilled to have found an ally and partner in their healing and growth, they are excited and looking forward to our work together and to reaping the rewards of being a master of their health and their life.  The growth just flows!

They are ready to manifest!

I love when this happens…it’s a thrill for me to see people grow and such an honor to be part of their process of empowerment and mastery!

Which are you…simply “interested” or are you truly “committed” to yourself, your health and your goals?  If you aren’t committed now, when will you be?  What are you waiting for?

Yours in health and healing,

Dr. Elena 😉

DrElena.com

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Why Does Healing Sometimes Take So Long?

— by Dr. Elena Michaels

 

Someone recently contacted me saying she was frustrated that her health goals had not been achieved.  She wanted to give up on the program we had created because things “weren’t happening fast enough”.

Sometimes healing happens rapidly, then it may stall for a bit and plateau, and then speed up again.  Frustration and disappointment in ourselves, only hinders the process of healing.  Being loving toward ourselves contributes to our healing.

It’s important to remember that if an imbalance in physiology has been going on for several decades, it might take more than one month to change!  Being patient and trusting the process is very important.

Depending upon what your health goals are, you may experience rapid changes and improvements like Marianne and others have.  See their videos and comments at http://DrElena.com/testimonials

I personally have experienced frustration as I’ve dealt with my own health challenges as my body has worked it way toward balance and healing.  The key is to be patient, know that everyone is unique and to trust the innate healing power of the body.

I do believe there is a divine intelligence…how can there not be? Look at the divine symmetry found in nature, the exquisite beauty of a young child, or the inspiration from a colorful sunset to be reminded that that higher intelligence is at work.

When I was dealing with advanced stage cancer and healing from the shock of that diagnosis and the treatment, I would look at my cat who would often come and lie on my chest, somehow seeming to know that doing that comforted me. Everything about her was perfect…and she didn’t even know it.  😉

She had no awareness of her beauty.  I thought, “Whatever intelligence created her, is always at work creating, and if it can create this perfection and balance in her, it can create perfection in my body”.

I would look at whatever was in front of me (making sure to have positive and uplifting things in my visual field) and try to find the perfection and balance in it. Looking out the window or being outside and looking at nature, is wonderful for finding the “positives”.  That is what I saw because that is what I was looking for.

Since our bodies are the physical manifestation of energetic frequencies, sometimes simply working on the physical level by taking supplements and sticking to a food program, is not enough.  There may be emotional issues, even unconscious ones we are not even aware of, that may be sabotaging the work we are trying to do.

Chronic illness, weight loss and autoimmune issues often take some time to completely resolve.  It takes many years for some of this situations to develop and manifest physically, so expecting very rapid results may sometimes not be realistic. However, positive movement can take place and we can move toward our health goals.

If you are not moving forward fast enough in your healing goals, really look closely at yourself.  If you’ve been “slipping” in your program, perhaps you are not being being honest with yourself about taking your supplements, sticking to your food plan, sleeping enough, or maybe you are letting stress get to you and not managing it well, being exposed to chemicals or using drugs or alcohol, or not dealing with emotional issues.

When we are working on healing, it is important that we acknowledge the small steps, taking note of those forward movements and being patient with ourselves and trusting that our highest good will prevail.

Our bodies were designed to be in balance, at an ideal weight, with calm emotions and a sense of joy.  Looking at all aspects in a holistic way, can often unlock what may have been sabotaging our goals.

Blessings to you on your journey,

Dr. Elena 😉

 

 

Getting Rid of Unwanted “Stuff”?

Last week I had a sore throat, laryngitis, aches, runny nose and was coughing and sneezing.  I knew my body was getting rid of toxins and accumulations of things no longer needed.  I took really good care of myself, amped up my supplements, drank my ginger/lemon/cayenne tea and knew I would feel clearer, lighter, calmer and stronger once the episode passed.  I felt like I was building a new body of light…lighter and more free than before (an ongoing process, for all of us, right)?

I have also been clearing out a storage unit for the last month and that process was on hold while I was resting and healing from not feeling well.

So here I am, clearing out “stuff” on a few different levels.  I went back to the storage unit today (I have a self-imposed deadline to be out in three days) and filled up another huge trash can.  It felt great!

Most of those boxes were put into that storage unit during a challenging time in my family and under great duress.  At that time, I felt overwhelmed dealing with several events as well as health issues.  Going through those boxes now, when I am strong and well (except for this little bout which is almost over) is a totally different experience.

It feels good to lighten the load, donate and throw out unneeded and unnecessary items, and it seems that it is happening on a few different levels right now.  I have been visualizing and imagining how good I will feel when the storage unit is cleared out and when I have moved through this little bout of not feeling quite well physically.  That has motivated me to get it done and move forward (we all want to feel good, right)?

I have also had a great time finding things that I have been looking for (so that’s where the portable CD player has been)!

This is just another bit of substantiation that everything really is connected and looking at the “coincidences” of letting go and eliminating on different levels, makes things that much more meaningful.

I am enjoying this process of letting go of unwanted thoughts, feelings and things…and keeping only what serves and nourishes me.  I’m not “there” yet, but the journey is the adventure and staying conscious and present in the moment brings the joy.

And now…I get to listen to a meditation CD on that compact disc player I just found!