Why People Don’t Heal
— Elena Michaels, Ph.D., C.C.H., L.M.F.T.
People don’t heal because they have more to gain by staying where they are. This can be startling to think about, and even more so when you realize that you are doing it in your own life. Carolyn Myss’s wonderful work elaborates on this. We stay where we are regardless of what we say we want, because more of our needs are met by doing so.
A client complains about her “frantic, busy and hectic life” asking when it will end, yet refuses to take any responsibility for creating any of it, saying it just “happens” to her. Another client tells me he’ll “do anything necessary” to get over a particular problem seriously affecting his life, yet he continually “forgets” his sessions. Another client has several known food intolerances/sensitivities that are very obvious in the way they adversely affect her mood (making her anxious and depressed). Yet she continually eats those foods and complains that “other people don’t made adjustments for her dietary choices when she eats with them” and is resistant to being proactive and personally responsible to make sure what she needs to eat is available for her.
All of these people have addictions and they also have something very big to lose by taking responsibility for themselves. Their relationships will have to change (especially the one with themselves) and they’ve become very comfortable with this ineffective way of being. Yes, there is courage required in re-creating ourselves and new territory can create anxious anticipation. But there is support available on many levels for making these changes. Incredible ecstasy, magic, joy and mastery awaits us as we re-create ourselves and take back our power, becoming co-creators of our lives.
We are not victims bobbing directionless in the ocean, at the mercy of whichever way the current is going. We can be in the driver’s seat, able to direct our vehicle and move it in whichever direction we choose. If you aren’t in the driver’s seat, who is? And if you are just a passenger in your vehicle, how long are you going to complain about the direction the vehicle is going without taking responsibility for changing it?
For information on driving your automobile, call the DMV. For more information on taking charge of your “personal vehicle”, call (661) 250-4395 or (661) 255-3388. Dr. Elena Michaels has been helping others for more than three decades and can be also reached at [email protected] and www.facebook.com/DrElenaMichaels