— By Elena Michaels PhD, CCH, LMFT
Vic, married for 31 years and a father of three, felt “empty” and hopeless”. His father left when Vic was 10 so Vic wanted to be a devoted father and husband…the opposite of his own father.
Vic’s wife is involved in community activities several days/nights a week. Vic owns a business now facing economic challenges and their marriage had faulty, unclear communication.
Their three children are over 18, but live at home without jobs, hanging out with their friends but barely speaking to their own parents. The family is often ill “getting everything going around”. Vic feels disrespected and unappreciated, is on heart medications, unable to deal with stress and felt it would be best if he would “just die”.
Vic says he will never leave his family “like his father did”. Yet he complains about them, feels victimized, resents them all for not appreciating him and feels isolated and alone. He doesn’t enjoy being home because he is “expected to work around the house, take care of all the finances, fix the kids’ cars, be the disciplinarian and take care of everything”.
Vic has begun therapy…something he thought he would never do since he always “handled things on his own”. He is learning that what he did NOT want to happen is what IS HAPPENING. He is physically but not emotionally present with his family, his resentment has created distance and Vic “left his family” just as his own father had. But Vic is committed to doing something about it, UNLIKE his father who disappeared one day. I created a multi-faceted, holistic plan incorporating psychotherapy, nutrition, lifestyle modification, stress reduction, brain function, hypnosis and more. Vic is getting control of his life, his health, his relationships and his mind. He is optimistic for the first time in years.
Working with a trained, experienced, holistic solution-focused psychotherapist can help you sort things out, set priorities, address all areas of your life and become conscious of patterns and connections creating discontent. You CAN get clear on HOW to enhance and improve your relationships with others as well as yourself!
Dr. Elena Michaels is a Solution-Focused Marriage & Family Therapist, Doctor of Natural Health and Clinical Hypnotherapist who has been helping others create balance and joy for more than 3 decades. She can be reached at 661.250.4395, www.DrElena.com or Elena@DrElena.com